Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Hire the best man for your cause

As lostin buy another Straits Times to hunt for a better pay job today (again), He cannot help but wonder how was the market now? So while his mind go haywire with monkey thoughts, he was trick by a higher power into thinking that he might actually help the industrial a bit.

Here goes today Straits Times Recruit:

The must-read for blogger applying a job + The 8 guidelines for want-2-be highly successful Bosses:

1.) Fishermen – at least 7 years experience in fishing for whatsoever style. Halfbird PHD is a must and blogger need not apply. (lostin thinks that he is most suited for this position but how the hack he can get a PHD and fish for 7 years?)
2.) Technician – must understand the structure of a nuclear power plant; able to install and maintain electrical wiring for the whole country, preferably will a degree from Oldfolks, we will consider if you are not a blogger.
3.) Retail executive – must be experience in each and every product available in the market, be able to stand under air-con for 14 hours a day; 7 days a week for 3 years without MC. If you still got time to blog we will consider you.
4.) Store supervisor – You must have the licence to drive the following: cargo plane, 100 tons crane and super puma helicopter, process a degree only recognize locally and don’t mind OT. Candidate must not blog.
5.) Manager – at least 30 years experience in managing cleaners, Bangladesh workers, terrorists and your manager. Candidate must process a saintly attitude, ready to died for the company and no matter how many things we ask you to manage, you also must manage.
Blogger please skip this column.
6.) CEO – 45 years in Hitler’s regime, skill in slavery and went through 3 world war and never injured before, as no body will question your ability, certificate is not a requirement but good to have. All blogger are advice not to apply.
7.) National administrator – Public brain washing skill, ability of Chameleons and a profound understanding of hypocritism are all necessary for this position, you must also able to spend a obscene amount of money for yourself to keep the economy stable. But you no need hands and legs because you talk only so blooger cannot apply.
8.) Press-shit-ten – no such position, hard notice by anyone or good only to hang on the wall, so we don’t hire, we outsource, build a clay model or just pick one from the zoo.
Blogger apply at your own risk.

Just what is going on with the world today?

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